It's been dead this week. Crazy, I'm rearranging the stage and sweeping the parking lot Type-Of-DEAD! I have a few of my regulars coming in, but they don't usually show till around 3 or so..... I was thinking yesterday on my entirely too long and boring in the pouring rain whilst stoned drive home.....about creeps.
We have some fucking creeps that come in that place. Lately, they've been showing their faces a lot more. It definately had something to do with the crazy ass moon a few days ago, the one that was GIANT, and so low that it seemed like you could touch it. Yeah, that moon. It made the freaks come out of their hiding spots and join me at the Moon Cricket for some cheap ass beer, and other strange happenings.
Onto the Meat of the Veggies, CREEPS..... I'm going to tell you about Bucket Tom.
It all started off this fall. Bucket Tom started showing up. He was okay for the first few visits. Ordered a bucket and sat alone at a high top right by the bar. He sometimes would get a cheeseburger with a side of jalapenos. EVERY time he gets the burger, he comments on how hot the jalapenos are. Well, They are HOT FUCKING PEPPERS you sped......... So after about 10 days of him saying this, I was like yeah... I hate you. He'd usually have 2 buckets, then he'd ask "whats my tab" and I'd tell him....then he'd think for a minute, and say give me 2 more in my bucket. So I add 2 Bud Lights, then 20 min later, same thing, okay, 3 more....
He would always wait for the WORST times to play this little game too. Like when I'd be carrying cases of beer.... Or stocking beer, or freshly have 3 new people, all ordering food and mixed drinks? Seriously, Tom.... You are annoying me right now. You have 4 beers in your bucket, you arent fucking leaving so shut the fuck up.
Tom used to be a decent tipper, so I could deal with his little shenanigans. And, for the most part, he was ok. It's clear he is "not all there" but in this industry, the crazies can make it fun. Okay, back to the tipping... He'd give anywhere from $5-$8.... Mind you, at the Moon Cricket you can get a bucket of 6 beers for $7.50 during the day. Burger & Fries $2.75... so the $5-$8 was a decent tip on how cheap his bill is.... Well, then the Holidays show up. Everyday, Bucket Tom would ask me.... "Do you have your Christmas shopping all done?" Everyday, I'd say Yes. It was like everyday he woke up and yesterday never happened. Seriously, this seemed like it was a new topic to him..... I wanted to punch myself in the throat.
So lately, Bucket Tom.... he's been broke. He also has been drinking more. So now he drinks all of his money away, leaving $1.40 and less for the bartender. Okay, I understand now and then getting fucked up. I'll let you slide.... but everyday now? CMON!!!!!! And, he's started mooching off the other regulars. The other bartender, Ducky and I have told EVERYONE that if he asks for a beer to let us know so we can scold him. Oh, and get this... his ass has the nerve to ask for 2 beers. NOT JUST ONE...... What a douche!
Other things Bucket Tom does that drive me batshit, I will cut you, You are lucky I dont have a baseball bat on me type of crazy:
He sucks his teeth, making this horrendous sound
He sits at a table that a group of regulars always sit at, but because he gets there WHEN I OPEN he takes the table, causing them to have to sit where they are not comfortable, and further away from me, and when there are 8 of them, it's great to be able to ask from the bar if they need a round or whatever.
He calls me Kiddo
He has the intelligence of my left shoe
He argued with me once that it was past 11, when I showed up! LITERALLY I was standing at my CAR, getting my key to get in the door of the bar, and he was telling me that I was fucking late. I clocked in at 10:44 that day (hmm Im scheduled at 10:50- so suck it Tom, what are you my fucking mom? Uh No. Die now), Then, as I was counting my drawer... he was beating on the front door, This is after I told him outside, the Longer you argue with me, the longer it is until I can open and give you beer Tom....
He tells me that he "worked" that day. I know this is a damn lie. Your eyes are floating in your head Tom, You are a drunk in and out, it's okay... I'm a bartender, I encourage your slippery slide into senality from the booze.... but, lets not deny it... You dont work. You dont drive, you live in someones basement. you are a drunk and it's okay... but cmon.....
Well, that is all about the damn creeps for today. I will write about some others soon. LOL I also have an amazing group of regular regulars that do not creep me out, and some who only half creep me out.
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